Keep Sticking Your Ass Out, Girl

I have no idea how anyone can not LOVE Heidi Montag. As you know, this whorse is my girl. She’s just perfect. She don’t got a booty, but she always makes sure to stick it out. She didn’t have any boobs, so she gets implants, and flaunts her plastic every day. She can’t sing, so she’s recording an album, and she’s not a fashionista, so she released a cheap ass clothing line.

Heidi Montag knows how to build a brand. Oh, ya, she’s not interesting, so she hooks up with a douche so everyone can hate them. I’m into it. You think Lauren would pay the paps to take fun pictures like these of her? Nope. Never. And with whom? Lo!

Team Heidi. Keep sticking out that flat booty of yours. She always makes me smile.