Snooki Gets Nude Photos From Jersey Shore Fans

Snooki looks like a bloated low-rent Christina Aguilera back when Xtina had black hair. I think they look alike, except Snooki has a dirty sanchez looking mustache and is darker than many black folks.

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Nicole Polizzi says that she stopped worrying about her parents watching her ghetto fabulous antics on Jersey Shore. “I was thinking like, ‘My dad and my mom are going to kill me.’ But I don’t really care at this point. I’m having a good time.”

Snooki was having a good time until some man child punched her midget ass and brought her to the floor. “My dad is like, ‘Where is he so I can bury him six feet under the ground?'” Snooki said.

Snooki also gets fan mail via email. “I check my email and they’re like, ‘You’re so dope. Let me marry you. Even though I’m not a guido, I’m obsessed with you.” Her admirers should live on the East Coast cause Snooki’s not moving to the West.

But Snooki isn’t sex crazed and she isn’t a fan of the dick shots, saying, “This one guy sent me a picture of his wiener! I was like, ‘Get that away! That’s disgusting.’ I don’t want any wiener pictures, please!”

I really don’t like dick shots either. The size and girth of a peen is supposed to be a mystery that I look forward to solving. If you show me what you got up front, I’m disgusted cause I know you’ve sent that photo to lots of other hoes and I’m thinking about infections instead of getting anywhere near your goods.


Go Snooki.

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