Lady Gaga appeared on The Late Show with David Lettermanlast night to promote her album, Born This Way, which hit stores on Tuesday.
As expected, Dave put Gaga through the ringer, but she rolled with the punches and answered every smart-@ss question with a smart-@ss response. At one point she even awesomely ripped and chewed up his list of questions. Some highlights:
When Dave asked Gaga why she was only wearing underwear and a coat she replied, “I only liked the jacket so I decided that’s all I would wear.” When he asked why she was wearing a mask, she answered, “I’m Batman.” I love this chick more with every interview.
Next they got on the topic of sh!tty jobs with Gaga quipping, “I have a paper route; it’s called Born This Way.” Steffani then revealed she used to be a waitress, adding that she was, “a very bad one. I used to flirt for tips, which didn’t work so well when they were on a date.” Dave then asked if she would consider going back and finishing college. After encouraging her fans to get degrees, Gaga said it wasn’t for her, because, “They can’t teach you how to ride a disco stick.” Apparently, we went to very different colleges.
Of course, Letterman asked Gaga if she has a boyfriend, and she dodged the question by flirting with him. Guess those waitressing skills are still paying off. He also asked Lady G about her relationship with the blogosphere. She replied, “You have 10 million people behind a computer. It’s a free-for-all. Good thing they like the music!” I dunno, Gaga. I’ve heard the album. Sounds like you were listening to an awful lot of Madonna and the Rent soundtrack while you were writing it. Hey, I’m a hater! I was born this way!
David Letterman had Dr. Phil on his show the other day when he asked Dr. Phil what he thought of Donald Trump. Phil, a friend of Trump, defended Donald and said that he isn’t a racist. David Letterman wasn’t buying it. Dave said that Donald is racist and that he doesn’t want him back on his show until he apologizes first.
Naturally, Trump sent a letter to David, saying: “I was disappointed to hear the statements you made about me last night on your show that I was a ‘racist. ‘In actuality, nothing could be further from the truth and there is nobody who is less of a racist than Donald Trump. Based upon your statements, and despite the fact that we have always done so well together, especially in your ratings, I am canceling my May 18th appearance on your show. Additionally, please inform your staff that I will likewise not do the ‘top ten’ list that they had been trying to set up.”
Please, God, let the Disney World puns stop! Courteney Cox chatted with David Letterman and David Arquette overshared with Howard Stern about the couple’s trip to Disney with their daughter, Coco.
As we know, the status of the couple’s relationship has been rocky, and Cox has determined that her ride is indeed closed for business. Arquette clearly didn’t get the message, as Cox reports, “He did try to hit on me. He hit pretty hard, and I said, ‘No more fast pass right now. Not that ride!”‘
Arquette’s version of events was a little more vulgar: “Listen, I tried to f*** her, and she doesn’t even want me,” he told Howard Stern. “[I thought], this is the happiest place on Earth! Let’s make it happen!”
Besides their apparent love for Disney puns, the two seem to still be in an OK place in their relationship. Courteney somehow wasn’t offended by her hubby’s comments to Stern, dismissing it with a simple, “David is a showman, he knows what he’s doing.”
Cox might want to take a step back from that- a man who’s not afraid to broadcast the fact that he tried to f*ck you in Disney might not be your best option.
Nicole Snooki Polizzi appeared on The Late Show With David Letterman last night and we have a great clip from her interview. Snooki discusses the importance of showing up to clubs while already drunk and she gives us all the ingredients for “Ron Ron juice,” which she consumes heavily before The Situation and the other Jersey Shore douchebags “go out to smoosh.”
Nicole also teaches Dave how to fist pump. Enjoy.
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Tina Fey appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman and she told the man whore that she didn’t become a woman until she married her husband when she was 24.
Tina was hilarious, talking about the “gay magic” that was involved in getting her dolled up for her Harper’s Bazaar photoshoot, but when Dave went on to talk about celebrities who lost their virginity later in life, Tina got a little uncomfy. Tina blamed her late blooming on her Christian values or being homely.
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You know all those girls who were getting poked at 14 are single mothers of three kids, waiting in anticipation for their welfare checks or living with their parents after their ex pulled a Jon Gosselin and moves onto a barely legal bimbo.
David Letterman isn’t just a staff f*cker but he’s also a dog for not automatically apologizing to his wife Regina Lasko for his horny behavior.
Sources say Dave didn’t want to do the public apology to Regina but she told him he better “make an apology to let everyone know how sorry he was for how much he hurt and humiliated her.” You go girl, I just hope you leave the cheating old fart now that you know how scandalous he is. Regina was on point and made Dave go over his apology with her before he did it on the air.
She demanded that he go over with her exactly what he was going to tell viewers and studio audience members on Monday. She was even willing to allow him to make “one or two jokes to be a part of it as long as they weren’t at her expense.”
Dave took it too far and threw in more jokes about the situation than he and Regina had discussed. She’s still angry with the fool and feels his joking matter with the ‘I’m sorry’ speech lessened the sincerity of the apology itself.
I predict they will stay together through the holidays for their son but will divorce soon after the first of the year. That’s really saying a lot because I would have locked the door and thrown his crap out the window once I heard he had been poking his employees.
TMZ reported that Stephanie Birkitt has been banned from the CBS set where the Late Show with Serial Cheater is filmed.
Stephanie used to be Dave’s assistant, but slept her way to the top and became his personal attorney. Worldwide Pants, Dave’s production company, has issued the following statement: “Stephanie is on paid leave of absence … she has not been banned from the Ed Sullivan Theatre.”
However, TMZ reports that on-set security received a “verbal order that she is banned from the property for the time being.”
Headlines mentioning that Stephanie is banned are sensational and make her sound like a stalker, naturally I’m all for both of those advantages, but even if she isn’t banned, the last place Steph wants to be is the CBS set. It’s obvious that this home-wrecking slut is in hiding, as she should be.
If Stephanie Birkitt had a job on the Late Show with David Letterman, it’s not available now!
TMZ is reporting that Stephanie Birkitt has been banned from the set where the Late Show is filmed. They have enough to deal with since Dave has talked about the scandal on his show, and I’m sure they don’t need her there to add to the drama.
In other sex with your assistant news, sources say Joe Halderman began the extortion plot as a way to get revenge on Dave for having affairs with his staff.
“This wasn’t about money, not money alone. This was revenge. It was about making Letterman miserable. “He wants to hurt Letterman as much as he can, and he wanted to hurt the girl, too,” said the source.
The only thing that could make this whole employee humping saga any better, is if there’s a Stephanie Birkitt & Dave Letterman sex tape hitting the Internet. Watching Dave have sex is a repulsive thought but it’s just like a car accident… You don’t want to look but you can’t pull your eyes away from the carnage.